The mumps diaries

These are two entries I wrote while sick with mumps a few months back. I posted them to my facebook page but not here. So hwere they are;

1. The Long Read to Finish

So here I am trying to find an upside to being sick, bearing mind that I'm contagious and nobody wants to see me I pretty much have to amuse myself (no not like that you dirty feckers).

So it really did seem like the ideal time to finish off Nelson Mandela's autobiography, The Long Walk to Freedom. Now this book and I go back a long way. I bought it for two euro in Harambee second hand shop in Galway three years ago. At the time I lived across the road and Hassan, from Somalia, who volunteered there always appreciated my comapny and interest in Africa and would sell me things at extrememly reasonable prices.

As a result I have a few more books I never got a round to reading and cassettes by Cat Stevens, Hank Williams and Handell that I still haven't managed to get onto my MP3 player.

On the basis of its size alone two euro seemed very good value of Mandela's book, so I bought it stuck it on the shelf and thought, 'I'll get around to reading that someday.

It remained there until a few weeks ago. Having just finished Jon Snow's Shooting history I made the mistaken move of following it up with another autobiography. You see I have a problem with books that once I start them I have to finish them even if I don't like them. Otherwise I don't think I've read it and therefore I'm not really in a position to not like it. Of course in this time I could have read five or six books I liked but that's not the point.

Snow's book had dragged on as I find autobiographies usually tend to do and by the time I finished I thought, 'I'll give Mandela a shot, sure isn't his birthday coming up.' Not that I was aware of Mandela reading anything I ever wrote because it was my birthday.

Anyhow that was weeks ago and of course I had convinced myself that the reason it was taking so long was because it was a long book and I didn't have much time etc. But now with time for detailed study I realise the reason the book is actually taking so long is that it is in fact pretty boring.

First I would like to clear one thing up. Mandella did not end apartheid. Millions of ordinary people across South Africa brought apartheid to an end through strikes, civil disobedience and riots and a variety of other means.

However as always happens in any liberation movement (Ireland included) a native elite holds back the people from achieving true economic freedom by retaining power for themselves and ensuring that all that really changes is the flag.

So while the ANC might have been the first black government of South Africa they oversaw the continuation of economic apartheid where the Black elite came to sit at the table with the white elite and very little changed for the millions of people who had suffered the most and continued to suffer. (I would recommend Frantz Fanon's Wretched of the Earth, for a detailed discussion on the role of the native elites and James Connolly's Labour and Irish History for an explanation of how Capitalism and Imperialism work hand in hand).

Of course Mandela was in prison while apartheid crumbled. It wasn't a case of him being released and apartheid falling overnight, it was a case of him being released so that when the inevitable collapse of apartheid came South Africa would have a moderate leader who would not pursue Socialist economic policies. It is no coincidence that the West only really pushed for the end of apartheid after the collapse of the Societ Union when they were sure that a non apartheid South Africa would not be Communist.

So Mandela was in prison while millions of others brought about the beginning of the end of apartheid so why is he given all the credit? And also prison is really boring and while the beginning of his book and life was interesting the twenty seven years of his life in prison are extremely boring to read about, extremely boring!

So happy birthday Nelson, sorry I didn't send you a card.



2. The Ramblings of a Delerious Vaccinated but Uncircumcised Man


I would like to point out that as I write this I am delerious from over the counter pain kiillers...

Funny how I've only written one note before and I was extremely accurate. Anyhow I'm here at home in quarantine suffering from mumps (thankfully it hasn't spread to my bollox) and reading up a little on mumps.
It turns out there are anti vaccination activists. That's interesting, I wonder why? I myself recieved the MMR vaccine and numerous others altough my mumps vaccination seems to have done me fuck all good.
By why are people against vaccinations? Are there many of these people and who are they? What are there arguments?

But there are all sorts of activists. I recently discovered that there are people who campaign against male circumcision, who don't have their case highlighted nearly as much as those who campaign against female circumcision. After doing a bit of research on the internet I am glad I'm not circumcised as it does seem to be an arcane practise that serves no purpose but I'm not sure I'd make stamping it out my number one cause. My only grievance with the whole thing is that I once dated an Israeli girl who wouldn't give me head as I wasn't circumcised. My view was that I was suffering because of her prejudices, I felt discriminated against. However given the things she said about Palestinians I think we can just write her off as a right wing lunatic. (I have also dated a non practising Muslim girl who didn't have the same qualms but likewise there are plenty of European girls who won't do it and provide no cultural, religious or social reasons).

Living in Africa is what really exposed me to the whole thing of circumcision as a rite of passage though. Certain tribes circumcise and certain tribes don't, however it seems the ritual is what counts not the actual foreskin but the rite of passage. it seems that the more painful the experience the better and it is tied up with a variety of other rituals.

Things really heated up over circumcision in Kenya when Raila won the election and Kikuyu's said they would not be ruled by him as he was not a man as he had not been circumcised. Now of course there was a lot more to it than this (and yes Raila did when the election. And I have no preference for either Raila or Kibaki as they are both crooks). Surely having male genitalia is what makes one a man, not having it mutilated? The Mungiki (a Kikuyu sect) went out and started carrying out DIY circumcisions on the street on Luo men. Something which seems both nasty and unnecessary. I guess we could class them as circumcision activists then.

It's funny what gets people worked up isn't it? I mean there are lots of causes out there some more worthy than others and I always try to see people's point of view but I always have a look at their motivating factors. Take for example some of the headcases who opposed the Lisbon treaty because they are racist and xenophobic. I opposed the LIsbon treaty but for completely different reasons to them and I wouldn't ever share a platform with them. Like I say you have to look at people's motivating factors.

So I am still not sure why there are people campaigning against vaccination. I must have had vaccinations against over a dozen diseases now and it has done me no real harm and the amazing thing is I can't even say if it has done me good or not, that's the whole point of a vaccine. Perhaps they just aren't getting their message across clearly enough. As for people campaigning against circumcision, well anecdotal evidence suggests uncircumcised men are better in bed and most medical councils are opposed to it but mince their words when saying so (goodness knows why).